Driving the Duck: Ditching Unhealthy Metaphors

Sometimes, I notice a bit of my own psychology sticking out like a bra strap or trailing my shoe like hitchhiking toilet paper. Earlier this spring I tweeted:

Somebody please tell me today is going to work out all right. It's suddenly gone off the rails.
— Adrienne Jones (@babytoolkit) March 22, 2013

Off the rails. I hadn't realized I was on a train, but it seems like that's been my underlying operating metaphor for a long, long time.

Trains travel stop to stop on a prescribed route. They're expected to operate on a schedule and are usually judged for their accuracy in meeting that schedule. While wanderers can take take trains, trains can't wander (engineers call that derailment).

I'm tired of the train. Every unexpected variation in life (tornado, preemie, health issues, financial changes) meant derailment, reassessment, organizing cranes, laying new tracks and feeling like I was missing obligations.

Imperial War Museum Collection
Taken by Sgt. Midgley
No 5 Army Film & Photographic Unit

My train perpetually ran off-track and behind schedule. Even with best efforts, there were mudslides and break-downs. And when I made it to a station, all I could think of was my failure to meet the schedule.

So, I'm test-driving a new metaphor. As a kid, my family took a duck ride in Wisconsin Dells. The slightly-ridiculous car-boat hybrid fascinated me. Developed for amphibious military assault in WWII, the "duck" (actually written as DUKW) could wander through the woods, climb hills, and splash into water.


DUKWs were ruggedly built to meet the assumption of a rapidly changing environment. They're often covering hard territory, so they don't move fast like trains, but the view is terrific, and stopping for an occasional picnic seems entirely sensible.

Since I decided to leave my metaphorical train behind, I find myself rethinking changes and set-backs. The DUKW is allowing me more meandering. We're more frequently found at the library and the park, and now I'm here blogging (the train seemed to have abandoned this station entirely).

So, join me on this first summer of the DUKW.

Moby Duck DUKW, Photo by Walter Taucher

Don't they just look awesome in parades?

For a more serious discussion along similar lines, watch for an upcoming review of Ana Homayoun's The Myth of the Perfect Girl.

***Baby Toolkit is the ongoing saga of a geek family making their way in this large and fascinating world. We have no particular financial stake in ducks, DUKWS, DUKW tours, duck tours (whatever that might mean), or Perigee/Penguin Publishing. We are Amazon Affiliates, so a small portion of purchases made through our links comes back to us where we'll spend it on something silly like domain names, board games, or marshmallows. We also podcast on board games and game groups at Great Big Table. Thanks for reading! 

The Good Life for Less: A Happiness Upgrade

Jim and I began our married lives in austerity. We were students with time left on our degrees and meager student jobs to augment parental support.

Our first anniversary is remembered as the Ben & Jerry's milkshake anniversary. Milkshake- not milkshakes.

Those early days of rice and potatoes left us reading a lot of budgeting (and healthy eating) books (trust me, you pay later for a cheap all-starch diet).

I met Amy Allen Clark in 2008 at a mom blogger event. In a connecting flight back to the Midwest, Amy and I talked about our families- especially about adding a second child (as I was pregnant with Scout). Amy's lively spirit and positivity are contagious. I was sorry when I had to run (neither figuratively nor gracefully) for my next flight.

Since that time, I've faithfully read Amy's blogs at Mom Advice. Amy's elegantly simple solutions to household issues, like using a backwards daybed with a newly independent sleeper, have shaped my home. Her Notebook posts offer a maven's eye-view of great recent blog recipes, patterns and projects- and are one of the highlights of my feed reader.

When her publisher (Perigee, an imprint of Penguin) offered me a chance to read her new book The Good Life for Less: Giving Your Family Great Meals, Good Times, and a Happy Home on a Budget, I was excited to see Amy's take on the seemingly-familiar world of budget living.

The matter of finances is timely for our family. As we've worked to make shrinking ends meet (growing medical expenses and a few annual payroll freezes), I've been resisting the need to rethink our financial lives. Revisiting our budget with new constraints seemed more like my personal failure than anything else.

The text radiates Amy's warm energy. As I read the stories of Amy's family's journey to frugality, I kept stumbling into great memories from my own childhood. Rather than looking toward a slightly grave new austerity, I found myself excited to launch into a life that celebrates the riches already abundant in my life.

Without using the term, Amy's book embodies many Simple Living philosophies. The Good Life for Less reminded me of sitting together with my parents and brother eating homemade fudge and popcorn as we watched a favorite movie on broadcast television. Her family's Friday pizza nights made me think fondly of similar evenings in high school were I regularly attended my buddy's weekly family's pizza night and drank copious amounts of sweet tea while we played cards afterwards. Simple, wonderful times.

Amy includes many great budget-friendly recipes that I wish we'd had back in the early days of our marriage. Her homemade chai mix is not only a great gift option, but offers one of my favorite indulgences at a great value.

It was also great to read the book while feeling swamped by the holidays. Like many parents, I struggle about how much to get my kids. Her family's current formula of "Something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read" is exactly the gift-giving framework I have been searching for. This formula allows for creativity, utility and wish-granting tailored to each member of the family.

There are so many parts of the book I could excerpt here as simple tips (because it is brimming with brilliance), but Amy's stories set mental gears spinning. With renewed creativity and joy, I'm identifying and capitalizing on those simple systems and moments that bring happiness and satisfaction to my family. A shocking number of those life upgrades come at no expense.

***Baby Toolkit is the ongoing story of two geek parents in the Midwest. I do know Amy Allen Clark, but have no financial relationship with her (other than the fiscal benefits of reading her blog and book) nor her publishers. We are Amazon affiliates, so a small portion of purchases made through our Amazon links helps support our blogging and podcasting (www.greatbigtable.com) efforts. Thanks!

Blasts from the Past: Three Favorite Hacks from the Days of Yore

In the past few months, I've found myself periodically looking through the archives to answer friends' questions. I've stumbled into old hacks which long ago turned into nearly-invisible standard family operating procedures.

So, for the subscribers who haven't been around for all six years, here are three of our all-time favorite hacks.

Babyproofing: Hacking a Wooden Bi-fold Door

While not my first post, this hack is the one that made me feel a part of a larger conversation. My jubilation when Asha covered it on Parent Hacks still resonates. It's also a cheap, clean-looking preventative for pinched fingers. Our latches are still going strong six years later.

The Big Muddy: Keeping Stroller Gunk Out of Car Upholstery 

Earlier this year I replaced this Thanksgiving tablecloth after years of use. I only wish the rest of the car had weathered those last five years as well as the cargo area.

Holiday Hack: Toddler-Friendly Ornaments

The kids still love doing this, and it means far less stuff to pack away after the holidays. I suspect Ranger will add some LEGO creations to the upper branches this year.

Thanks for strolling down memory lane with me, and thank you for reading Baby Toolkit!

***Baby Toolkit is a half dozen years' worth of hacks and conversation written by a couple geeky Midwesterners. Thank you for reading us! We're Amazon affiliates, so a small percentage of purchases through our Amazon links goes to help our operating costs online and in the real world. We also podcast about board games at Great Big Table.

Cut Your Losses: Screening the Floor Vents

The vent screened with pink tulle.

Yesterday, I heard screams coming from my daughters' room. This isn't really a surprise. When people talk about boys being loud, I always wonder how girls ended up with better publicists in that department.

So, as the cries didn't indicate blood loss or actual fear, I ambled back to see what was the matter.

My girls were playing with poker chips (a favorite toy at our house) and the baby inserted one in the floor vent- to her utter delight and the complete irritation of sister Scout.

Now, I've known for years that their floor vent was a gaping maw hungry for toys and tidbits. It's one of the few floor vents that the previous residents didn't cover with window screen.

When I went to recover the chip, it was gone. It made it past the initial flat land and rolled somewhere toward the basement. For all I know it's now sitting on the electric coils of our furnace. Since they got past my arm's reach, this was no tea set spoon scenario; this situation required action.

I grabbed some very pink tulle and cut it about 5 inches larger than the floor register. This register fits pretty snugly into the floor, so I didn't bother duct taping the tulle around the boxy underfloor part of the register (as the previous residents had on the other vents). The next vacuuming may prove that to be a strategic error, but for now, it's keeping all the chips out of the furnace and the girls like their pinker floor vent.

***Baby Toolkit is the slapdash meanderings of a couple geek parents raising three active kids. When we're not searching floor vents for lost treasure, we're sometimes discussing board games at Great Big Table (mmm, delicious podcasts!). We're Amazon affiliates, so clicking through our relevant links and purchases increases the Jones' coffers. We don't have any vested financial interest in tulle, floor registers or poker chips. Do you?