You may think our previous "back on track" post was some sick tease, but two days later I stood holding the baby's hand while a CT scanner roved round and round her head. By the end of that week, she and I were talking to the director of pediatric neurosurgery (okay, the baby mostly listened).
Now we're waiting for a more complete, full-sedation-required, 3D CT and its analysis by a brain surgeon and a plastic surgeon.
That has mostly taken the wind out of our sails.
Yet we are trying to live with mindfulness and intentionality. Time with our daughter has greater significance, time with all three of our kids does. In this strange waiting period, we are keenly aware that time with family passes at the same (too fast) rate even during anxiety or crisis.
Shortly after all this happened, we went to a local observatory (built with a barn silo dome) and peered all the way to Jupiter and saw her icy moons.
|Jupiter, October 22, 2011. photo credit: Peter Riesett, (LordJumper) via Flickr and Creative Commons. (Thanks for sharing!)|
Before Ranger's obsession with space, I couldn't stand to think of the universe's enormity. Now, I'm grateful for the awareness (from our vantage point atop the shoulders of giants). We are markedly different than most of the known universe, and we have the remarkable tools to explore it. Even kids who can't tie their shoes can see more clearly than many master astronomers of past generations.
I'm trying to look at our medical unknowns in the same light. Not to fear the vastness, but to find the wonder, opportunity, and miracles in what unfamiliar territory teaches about our present position.
***Baby Toolkit is the chronicle of two Midwestern geeks encountering the vast and varied realm of parenting.