tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post6976997137741476858..comments2024-02-11T08:39:14.292-06:00Comments on Baby Toolkit: Presence, Not Presents: Why We Throw No Gift Parties (& How)adriennehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11068165000960928380noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-91277157161946563682009-09-27T11:32:23.020-05:002009-09-27T11:32:23.020-05:00I'm all for no presents, grandparents give eno...I'm all for no presents, grandparents give enough anyway. <br /><br />The family I just married into gives the birthday child *AND* each sibling a gift on the one child's birthday. <br /><br />These birthday parties are often filled with whining, crying and jealousy over who got what. It's not really much fun.<br /><br />I didn't get to have birthday parties as a child and to just have had the opportunity to have friends, family and some cake would have been good enough for me.Gwennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-23443785296143589702009-07-15T16:24:58.146-05:002009-07-15T16:24:58.146-05:00Hmmm, we have always opened gifts at the party, as...Hmmm, we have always opened gifts at the party, as do many of M's friends, though he has had an equally great time at "no gift" parties. We have also been to "gift exchange" parties, but M STILL wants to pick something special for his friend - so that often turns into a 2-gifter for us. <br /><br />I have no issue with "no gifts." But I also have no issue with gifts - even for my sometimes greedy little M. He is generous as well...<br /><br />I haven't seen much grief over gifts (envy, fighting, etc.) except between siblings. We let M chose the gift he is giving and he is usually VERY excited about giving it and watching his friend open it. I think there's a good lesson there too. Yes, he can learn to give graciously to charity as well but there is a particular joy in selecting something special for a friend. He is also learning to give thoughtful gifts.<br /><br />This could happen with spontaneous gifts as well, but the birthday parties give us a great build up. My kid loves a party.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-15518381684887290902009-06-03T11:29:41.253-05:002009-06-03T11:29:41.253-05:00Our family has always done no-gift parties... well...Our family has always done no-gift parties... well, in a way. We began completely no-gift, but like you mentioned, people still felt the need to bring something anyway. So, we started a new tradition when the girls were about school-age. When invitees insisted on bringing gifts, we would ask them to bring some canned goods. Then, within a few days after the party, I drive the girls to the local food pantry to donate their "birthday presents".<br />Things really do run so much more smoothly without the gifts and the girls feel great that they get to help others who need food more than they need another toy.The Rogershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17031123631196089062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-90284623626187677622009-06-01T20:49:52.862-05:002009-06-01T20:49:52.862-05:00Hello,
This is very refreshing idea on birthday p...Hello, <br />This is very refreshing idea on birthday parties! In my case, I plan to celebrate my daughter's 2nd birthday party in one of the charitable institutions that my family oftens. Of course it would mean my daughter won't be receiving gifts of her own but instead will share her blessing with unpriviledge kids.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17356317853705907474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-26290308713283554402009-05-30T11:29:14.376-05:002009-05-30T11:29:14.376-05:00Great idea. Another thought is giving to needy or...Great idea. Another thought is giving to needy organizations: canned food for food closets, items for animal shelters, donated clothing and etc.SandyQuiltshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16007755323112667247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-72172991971903515602009-05-22T10:55:54.300-05:002009-05-22T10:55:54.300-05:00This was a great post about the no gift party.This was a great post about the no gift party.onna nollhttp://toddlercraft.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-28396544598568672502009-05-18T21:14:00.000-05:002009-05-18T21:14:00.000-05:00I was so completely overwhelmed by the amount of g...I was so completely overwhelmed by the amount of gifts our then 5 month old got at Christmas (and we've got a VERY small family) that I decided to do the same thing for his birthday this summer. <br />With one exception - I will ask that people who insist on giving something give us cash for his college fund. Here's hoping!kaycienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-55954474048738133692009-05-18T14:12:00.000-05:002009-05-18T14:12:00.000-05:00My son's birthday is 10 days before christmas... ...My son's birthday is 10 days before christmas... I definitely want to have no gift birthdays (and have really taken about half the toys he gets at christmas/birthday and put them away until summer, so he gets some new toys in the rotation later...<br /><br />We haven't really had a real party yet (we've had two birthdays with just a few attendees, mostly family, each), but next year we'll probably have some playmates from his school/daycare class.<br /><br />Here's my question, and this reflects my general level of social insecurity and paranoia. If we have a little party for him and request no gifts... will people who have parties for their kids in the subsequent weeks (the three little friends he has at school all have birthdays in the subsequent two months) think I'm judging them because they are getting gifts?<br /><br />Because I certainly don't begrudge getting the other kid's gifts, I just don't want more stuff, and I also feel very strongly that the celebration is the valuable thing as you mentioned.Nutmeghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05046804821520644979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-6770121729118975922009-05-18T09:09:00.000-05:002009-05-18T09:09:00.000-05:00I love this topic! We recently (well, a year ago)...I love this topic! We recently (well, a year ago) moved from a major metro area to a small island in the south and I am amazed at how much resistance there is in our new area to the "no gifts please" request. I am of the mind that children receive enough (too much sometimes) from the relatives, especially grandparents and the last thing a self-centered toddler/child needs is more "STUFF." Imagine my surprise when we recently received an invite for a no gift party, and I expressed my delight to the birthday boy's mother...turns out they had also just moved from a major metro area. :) Before moving, I had a standard practice of donating to Heifer International in the birthday child's name and including a card stating as much along with the regular bday card. It was never a large donation, just what I would spend on a gift. The card would provide an explanation of the donation and the parents loved it. I've continued that practice down here and some folks (such as my mother in law) give a weird look when they find out I have not brought the "traditional" gift. However, the parents love it - it teaches the children about giving, helping others, etc. I definitely plan on keeping it up.Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11182787490532830191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-41881156549198098142009-05-17T22:48:00.000-05:002009-05-17T22:48:00.000-05:00For my kiddo's second birthday, we TRIED the no gi...For my kiddo's second birthday, we TRIED the no gifts thing. Unfortunately, gifts came. How do you get the idea across, that, no really, no gifts? we put it on the invite, I expressed it to people as I was talking to them..Giftmas was bad enough this year. Voldemort just turned two, and even though i have asked and asked my inlaws to limit the gifts, he managed to open three before he hit total overload and started running around the room shrieking - either because he wanted to play with the toys he had already opened, or because he wanted to open and open and open. We wont be doing that again!allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02838586414855006053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-15657180706703677212009-05-17T22:10:00.000-05:002009-05-17T22:10:00.000-05:00Liz BK: Project Night Night looks awesome, and it'...Liz BK: Project Night Night looks awesome, and it's really cool that it's a national project with collection sites in<br /> CA<br /> MI<br /> IL<br /> OH<br /> FL<br /><br />There's not a collection site near us, but they do serve Indiana shelters. Thanks for the link!adriennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11068165000960928380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-37747326656208121472009-05-17T21:48:00.000-05:002009-05-17T21:48:00.000-05:00This makes complete sense to me. For my girl Ev's...This makes complete sense to me. For my girl Ev's first birthday, we had a picnic at the park. We invited our friends to bring a blanket to sit on, a frisbee or a ball to play with, and expressed a preference for no gifts. We simply don't have room in our little apartment for any more stuff, and Ev gets plenty of fun new toys from grandparents and from the occasional used toy swap with friends. For her 2nd birthday, I might invite people to bring a book, small stuffed toy, or blanket for projectnightnight.org. Thanks for the great post!Liz BKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15717850434433420802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-5897327503412123092009-05-17T21:21:00.000-05:002009-05-17T21:21:00.000-05:00Great post. You should be a birthday planner for ...Great post. You should be a birthday planner for kids. Seriously. Your parties rock!<br />~KarenMimi-n-Moe's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03003058998571772444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-67259719137913352802009-05-17T20:20:00.000-05:002009-05-17T20:20:00.000-05:00We don't really do gift-less parties, but we do pr...We don't really do gift-less parties, but we do practically kidless parties. I can sense your confusion, so let me explain.<br /><br />For the first birthday, we invited our friends and those friends who have children were encouraged bring children. At Ben's first birthday there was one other child. For Katie's there will at most be three plus her and her brother.<br /><br />Ben's second birthday was at Gymboree because Sam was not well that summer and the logistics of a birthday and a sick dog were beyond me. We invited a lot of kids, but not many came. Ben had a blast because he had the place practically to himself. A large number of presents, but they were opened AT HOME. I just wish I had had the forethought to mete them out over many days.<br /><br />Ben's third birthday had two other children at it, I think. We made the mistake of having him open his presents while they were there. We won't be doing that again this year, but I feel confident that the same two children will be at this party in addition to his sister.<br /><br />At most of these parties there have been grandparents, godparents, and assorted "other" adults who like our kids. <br /><br />I figure I have one more year like this. He's starting to get interested in "doing things" like swim lessons and other things that involve other kids, so I imagine he will want to invite some of them, but hopefully not this year :).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-17384710147310543152009-05-17T20:04:00.000-05:002009-05-17T20:04:00.000-05:00Great post and insight into the no-gift birthday. ...Great post and insight into the no-gift birthday. I've been thinking about this lately as our little guy turns one in a month.<br /><br />I love the no-gift party in theory and totally agree that it probably causes more trouble than it's worth. But somehow, I just can't bring myself to take this approach with DS just yet.<br /><br />I must confess I love throwing parties and making things for the party, decorating etc. Just another reason to be creative and at the same time make my little guy feel special.<br /><br />My parents (well, mostly my Mum) organized the best birthday parties for us and they are all part of my fondest childhood memories. What's interesting is that thinking back, I don't remember anything about the gifts (except that I did get them from my friends & my parents), and I did open them at the party. But my fondest memories are of the cakes my Mum made, the games we played and the special treats/activities - like having a fondue when I was 7 or 8. So, all of this supports what you've concluded about what you want Ranger to get from his birthday celebrations.<br /><br />We'll try it with gifts this year and see how it goes. We may end up going no gifts if it starts becoming a problem, or the focus. And, I must admit, your post brings me one step closer to having this for the future.<br /><br />The other option I'm considering for when the little guy is a bit older is having him make something handmade for each of his birthday party guests in honor of his birthday. (I guess this is what loot bags are all about. But it'll have more meaning if the little guy has a hand in putting them together). I think I read some where a long time ago that in some cultures it is customary to GIVE gifts on your birthday, not receive them.<br /><br />Anyhow, great food for thought!the millinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15593222716005491917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32686050.post-9808739514998858292009-05-17T19:44:00.000-05:002009-05-17T19:44:00.000-05:00Funny thing, I just sent out invitations (evite, k...Funny thing, I just sent out invitations (evite, kthx) for the Infanta's first birthday party. Included in the sparse text was the phrase, "gifts admired, but by no means required: all we want is to see your shining faces!" I know some people will bring gifts, especially family members, and that's fine. In my husband's family, gifts for kids are typically given quietly, to be opened later in private, anyway. So for those gifts that we do receive, we'll open them probably later, at home, and not make a fuss with the toddlers. First birthdays are really only a fuss for the adults, anyway - just another big playdate for the kids. :)Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00608429155677312762noreply@blogger.com